Tag Archives: crime

Angry Dwarf Jailed for Pretending to be a Dalek and Threatening to ‘Exterminate’ Carers

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Ian Salter-Bromley is quickly making himself known as the missing eighth dwarf: Angry. He was probably ostracised by Snow White and her vertically challenged septet because of his rather serious anger management issues.

Indeed, the 55-year-old dwarf makes Disney’s Grumpy seem like a bowl full of rainbows – his latest misdemeanour involves impersonating a Dalek from Doctor Who (by sticking a sucker dart to his head, obviously) and then threatening to “exterminate” two carers. The incident ended with the British man being tasered by police… twice.

Salter-Bromley, who stands at just four feet tall, had to appear in Hull Crown Court for a hearing about his anger issues. The judge heard that while the dwarf had been friendly when the carers first visited his sheltered housing complex, things soon soured, with the man aggressively threatening to kill the carers before then barricading the door to his flat and having a stand off with police.

When police did break into his home the he was found standing with a 20-centimetre knife and was apparently so angry that the “veins were sticking out of his neck”.

But this is just one of the many things Salter-Bromley has done. His escapades have been such that they have eventually landed him a nine-month jail term. He is also reported to have carried out a dirty protest – smearing poo and urine into his local council’s offices – because he was angry that the kitchen surfaces in his apartment were too high for him to reach, for which he received an ASBO.

Another time he was found guilty of possession of a knife after he threatened a woman when her children had been making fun of his height on a bus.

Recorder David Gordon told the dwarf when issuing his prison sentence: “Individually, these aren’t the most serious offences, but together they take on a different complexion.

“You would have been jailed for longer if it hadn’t been for your disabilities.

“I appreciate you are isolated and have an extremely lonely life, which makes you frustrated. But now you have time behind bars to reflect and try to keep your temper under control.”

Man Charged after Having Sex with Wife’s Attention-Stealing Dog

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A man in the United States has been charged with animal cruelty after he had sex with his wife’s dog because he was jealous of the amount of attention it was getting from his significant other.

Jonathan Edward Medley of Geneva, Alabama was suspected by his wife of having an affair with another woman when the romance dissipated from their relationship. She hid a recording device in the house and it was then that she made the startling discovery.

The recordings uncovered that Medley was actually committing an act of bestiality by having sex with Buster, his wife’s Shih Tzu.

Geneva police captain Ricky Morgan said that the 39-year-old was “mad at his wife because she paid more attention to the dog than him so he had sex with the dog”.

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Morgan explained: “She actually thought he was having an affair with another woman and hid a recording device,” Geneva Police Capt. Ricky Morgan told the Eagle.

“She learned he was in fact molesting the dog.”

Medley was held on $535 after his arrest on Friday 12 June. However, he only faces a misdemeanour charge, which is all bestiality carries under Alabama law.

Woman Jailed for Overdue ‘Monster-in-Law’ VHS

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Let’s face it, we’ve all had a slap on the wrist and a nominal fine for not taking back a rental video on time… unless you are one of those annoyingly organised people, or were born in the noughties, of course.

But little did you know that this minor misdemeanour could have landed you in far more serious trouble.

That’s exactly what happened to a woman in America, who’s had a run-in with the law all because of an overdue VHS. Yes, a VHS, you know, those fuzzy tape cassette things they used to have (see picture above).

In the defence of the police, watching the film Monster-In-Law ought to be classified as a criminal act in itself, but it’s safe to say that Kayla Michelle Finley had no idea her decision to check the movie out of Dalton Videos would land her behind bars.

MPW-13854Ms Finley rented the Jennifer Lopez rom-com back in 2005 but never returned it to the store, which, like virtually all other video rental firms, has since gone out of business. So when the 27-year-old-with-questionable-film-taste attended her local South Carolina police station for other matters, officers soon uncovered this decade-old warrant for her arrest.

When it transpired that her hearing could not be held until the following day, Ms Finley was forced to spend the night in a cell, CNN reported. She said after the incident: “I’m no criminal, but Pickens County Sheriff’s office sure made me feel like I was.”

Thankfully, the former business owner of Dalton Videos requested the court withdraw the charge so Ms Finley was set loose to roam the streets once again.

Man Jailed for Shooting Himself in the Foot… On Purpose… Twice

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Shooting yourself in the foot: to do something without intending to which spoils a situation for yourself.

We’ve all shot ourselves in the foot at time or another, in the metaphorical sense. But one man has taken the expression a little too literally and quite literally blasted a hole in his foot with a gun.

Why? Because he wanted to know what it would feel like, obviously.

Adam Hirtle is the inquisitive man in question. When investigators quizzed the 30-year-old about where his gunshot wound had come from – as they do when such a patient enters a hospital with an injury like this – he nonchalantly told them he did it because he was curious how it would feel.

Wanting to know what it feels like to be shot ranks right up there alongside ‘I wonder what cyanide tastes like’ and ‘Do you think I could fit my whole head in a tiger’s mouth?’ as a question it’s just best not to know the answer to.

The police were not sure what to do when it turned out that the reported ‘accidental gun discharge’ was anything but an accident. However, 9News.com said that the Colorado resident has been arrested on suspicion of a prohibited use of weapons, reckless endangerment and child abuse, because one or more kids may have been in the vicinity when he fired the gun.

Another news network, Fox News, revealed that Hirtle used a .22 caliber, semi-automatic handgun. He reportedly stood in his garage, took his boot off, shot himself in the foot, put his boot back on, and shot himself in the same foot again. All because of a morbid fascination with how it would feel.

His injuries were not life-threatening but his foot, one would safely assume, is looking a little worse for wear. So there’s your lesson kids – don’t try this at home!

Sometimes Adam, ignorance is bliss. So is the ability to walk and not being in prison. So maybe don’t shoot yourself in the foot, yeah?